I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
