I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting