I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm at about main and main street
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.