I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.