Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
