i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
