moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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