1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
