My room smells like vodka and shame
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
