So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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