i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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