in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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