I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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