i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This toilet bowl is my home.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize