Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened

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(734): i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened http://tfl.nu/eey2

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(802): View more from Vermont

is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?

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(802): is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you? http://tfl.nu/agyh

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(415): View more from California

I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?

(512): View more from Texas

Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.

(415): View more from California

Watch for tornadoes.

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(415): I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana? (512): Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought. (415): Watch for tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/7qwf

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(310): View more from California

My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra

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(310): My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra http://tfl.nu/y9he

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(502): View more from Kentucky

And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs

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(502): And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs http://tfl.nu/2r8e

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(317): View more from Indiana

I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....

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(317): I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up.... http://tfl.nu/s81o

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(614): View more from Ohio

So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.

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(614): So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome. http://tfl.nu/kpah

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.

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(412): One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging. http://tfl.nu/rajk

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(980): View more from North Carolina

You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.

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(980): You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls. http://tfl.nu/1jxr

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.

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(859): I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt. http://tfl.nu/2lr3

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(916): View more from California

You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.

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(916): You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping. http://tfl.nu/nr1z

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers

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(919): The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers http://tfl.nu/9d3q

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(518): View more from New York

I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?

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(518): I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine? http://tfl.nu/b7b9

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(605): View more from South Dakota

And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.

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(605): And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way. http://tfl.nu/edar

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(662): View more from Mississippi

He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.

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(662): He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it. http://tfl.nu/e1a5

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