I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here