i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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