We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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