Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me + whiskey = a bad person
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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