u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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