We're like a lot better than the average bears
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
