I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
