I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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