Tell her she can't have a vagina
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
