we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No subtext here. People are naked.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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