Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
