I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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