nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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