You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this will be a night to untag.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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