yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize