Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
