all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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