The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
