how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize