# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
