these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
