is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's blow job season.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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