the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
