I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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