Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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