I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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