Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Randomize
