He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
