why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
