I like to think it a success when the cops are called
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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