.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
