these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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