Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I am one with the molecules
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
