Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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