you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
