I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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