ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
