My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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