Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
