I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
