It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
