do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
