ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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