do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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