As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
