So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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