Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize