I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
