Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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