Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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